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James Acaster - COLD LASAGNE HATE MYSELF 1999

Overview

James Acaster reflects on the best year of his life and the worst year of his life and does stand up comedy about them while throwing a strop. 

Join James at The...

Read More

Age guidance: 16+

Running time: The running time will be added as soon as it is confirmed.

Overview

James Acaster reflects on the best year of his life and the worst year of his life and does stand up comedy about them while throwing a strop. 

Join James at The...

Read More

Age guidance: 16+

Running time: The running time will be added as soon as it is confirmed.

James Acaster - COLD LASAGNE HATE MYSELF 1999

James Acaster reflects on the best year of his life and the worst year of his life and does stand up comedy about them while throwing a strop. 

Join James at The Phoenix Theatre in London’s West End for the second outing of his critically acclaimed show Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999 added due to phenomenal demand.

James’ last four shows form his Netflix four-part series, Repertoire. He is the first UK comic to shoot more than one Netflix Original special. His debut book 'Classic Scrapes' made the Sunday Times bestseller list. As seen on Mock the Week, Live at the Apollo, Would I Lie to You, QI and Have I Got News for You.

A whimsical master, he has received acclaim from around the world, including a record breaking 5 consecutive nominations for ‘Best Comedy Show’ at the 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 & 2016 Edinburgh Fringe Festivals.

Praise for Cold Lasagne Hate Myself 1999:

★★★★★
'A comedy genius at the peak of his powers'
The Guardian

★★★★★
'A revelation – this is a career-defining two hour show'
The I Paper

★★★★★
'True genius – here Acaster has surpassed even his own superlative standards'
Evening Standard

★★★★★
'As finely engineered a show as Acaster’s ever produced'
Chortle

★★★★
'The narrative is raised to the level of a Pinter play – a magnificently choreographed piece of storytelling'
The Times

Quotes:

'There's no one better at constructing a show than Acaster'
Guardian

'Stitched together and overlaid with such grace'
Telegraph

'One of comedy’s most original voices'
Evening Standard

'One of the most consistently brilliant and distinctive comedians of his generation'
Chortle

'He really is rewriting the comedy rulebook'
Time Out

'Continues to stun with boundless creativity and technical mastery'
Scotsman

'If Oxford wants to study stand-up in depth, Acaster is a good place to start'
Sunday Times

'Comic of his generation'
Ed Fest

James Acaster - COLD LASAGNE HATE MYSELF 1999

There are no booking fees for this production.

However, all bookings made through ATG Tickets for this venue are subject to a £3.65 Transaction fee.

James Acaster - COLD LASAGNE HATE MYSELF 1999 Access

Booking Information

Access Booking line: 0800 912 6971

Phoenix Theatre Visual Story: a visual resource to help prepare visitors for a new experience and to help them become familiar with new surroundings and what to expect. Please contact the venue's Access Champion to request a copy.

Read our Access Guide here

Meet our Access Champion Alice here


Access Performances
  • Audio Description None scheduled
  • Sign Language Interpreted None scheduled
  • Captioned None scheduled
  • SUR Titles None scheduled
  • Relaxed Performances None scheduled
Venue Access Information

Step Free Access for wheelchair users and patrons with limited mobility

There is step free access from street level into Row A of the Dress Circle and Box C. This area also includes and accessible toilet.

Patrons can access the theatre with no steps via Flitcroft Street. Patrons requiring step free access should arrive at the main entrance on Phoenix Street and a member of staff will accompany them around to Flitcroft Street and arrange for the accessible entrance to be opened. This entrance is usually available from half an hour before the show start time as it leads directly into the auditorium.

Seating for Wheelchair users

There is one wheelchair space in Box C for patrons who need to remain in their wheelchair. The corridor to Box C is 90 cm wide. The door to Box C is 78 cm wide.

There are two unfixed chairs in the Box. It can accommodate one wheelchair user and one seated position or two seated position. Box is restricted view (left side stage).

Wheelchair Transfers: Wheelchair users can transfer from their chair into Dress Circle Row A seat 28 (fixed seat). The wheelchair will be taken care of by front of house staff during the performance and bought back to the patron once the show has ended. This seat is also suitable for patrons with limited mobility who cannot manage any steps at all.

Limited mobility seating

Dress Circle B27-28 and C27-28 are reserved for patrons with limited mobility. They can be reached with less steps via the accessible entrance on Flitcroft Street and require the patron to manage two or four shallow steps up to the seats, with a handrail. Totally step-free seating is in Row A, as described above

Venue Step & Facilities Guide

Advance Box Office

The Advance Sales Box Office is on Charing Cross Road and is on street level with no steps. Doors are heavy and staff are happy to assist with opening them if required.

Main Entrance, Collections Box Office & Foyer

The main entrance to the theatre is on Phoenix Street. It is usually open from 1.5 hours before the show start time. Access to the foyer and collections box office is one shallow step from street level (a ramp can be provided for this step on request). There is a bar in the foyer selling drinks, snacks and where available, show merchandise. The cloakroom for bags and coats is located just inside the main entrance. Steps with handrails lead from the foyer to the Stalls and Dress Circle.

Stalls 

There are 13 steps, with a handrail down to the Stalls from the foyer. There is no lift and the Stalls level can only be accessed on foot. The Stalls auditorium has three aisles, which gently slope towards the stage, but have no steps. There are exits to the Stalls foyer at the end of each aisle. There is a kiosk in the stalls foyer selling snacks, drinks and where available, show merchandise.

The Stalls Bar is 4 steps down from the stalls foyer level. Although there are toilets on this level, they may not be suitable for patrons with disabilities or access needs.

Dress Circle 

There are 21 steps up from the foyer to the Dress Circle. There is a handrail but no lift and this route can only be accessed on foot.

Access via this route into the Dress Circle auditorium is at the rear (row K). From back of Dress Circle (row K) to front (row A) there are 18 steps down. The front of the Dress Circle (row A) can be accessed from street level via Flitcroft Street. For more details see the seating guides above.

The Dress Circle Bar is three steps up from the dress circle level. Although there are toilets on this level, they may not be suitable for patrons with disabilities or access needs. The accessible and adapted toilet can be found at the front of the dress circle auditorium behind Box C. It has step free access via the Flitcroft Street entrance.

Grand Circle 

The Grand Circle entrance is located directly on Phoenix Street, to the left of the Main Entrance.

There are 51 steps up to the Grand Circle.

There is no lift and the Grand Circle level can only be accessed on foot.

Access into the dress circle auditorium is at the rear (row J).

From back of Grand Circle (row J) to front (row A) there are 24 steps.

There are handrails with steps throughout the Grand Circle but some steps inside the auditorium may be steep.

The Grand Circle Bar and Kiosk are 8 steps down from the Grand Circle auditorium.

Although there are toilets on this level, they may not be suitable for patrons with disabilities or access needs.

Quick Guide for Bars

There are bars on all levels of the theatre.

Stalls bar is 4 steps down from the Stalls level.

Dress Circle bar is 3 steps up from the Dress Circle level.

Grand Circle bar is 8 steps down from the Grand Circle auditorium.

Patrons must negotiate stairs to access any of the bars. There are handrails on all stairs throughout the building.

Our ‘Ordertorium’ at seat service for drinks and snacks is available on all levels of the theatre. Order from your seats via the app or a staff member and your order will be delivered straight to your seat.

If prearranged with front of house, drinks can be left in the Royal Room for access patrons using Box C.

Quick Guide for Toilets

Ladies and Gents on all levels. Accessible/adapted toilet is on Dress Circle level in the Royal Room. There are no steps to this toilet from Box C or Dress Circle Row A, but there are 2 slightly awkward turns.

Patrons must negotiate stairs to access any of the other toilets: Stalls: Ladies are 7 steps down and 3 steps up, either side of Stalls bar. Gents are at the rear of Stalls - high seat number side; Dress Circle: Ladies and Gents on same level as bar, 3 steps up from Dress Circle level additional ladies through back of dress circle on same level as auditorium; Grand Circle: Ladies are the same level as Grand Circle auditorium and Gents are in Upper Circle bar (8 steps down).


Sennheiser Infra-red and Induction Loop sound amplification systems are in use throughout the auditorium. Headsets can be collected from the Foyer Bar inside the Main Entrance on Phoenix Street.

Assistance dogs are allowed into the theatre area. Staff are happy to look after assistance dogs during the performance.


Phoenix Theatre Information

Phoenix Theatre
  • If you're driving into the West End to see a show, take advantage of Q-Park's Theatreland Parking Scheme saving 50% off off-street car parking charges for up to 24 hours. To qualify, simply present your Q-Park car park ticket for validation at our box office and the car park machine will automatically charge you half price. Our nearest Q-Park car park is Chinatown and the next nearest is Trafalgar.
  • There is step free access from street level into Row A of the Dress Circle and Box C. This area also includes and accessible toilet. Patrons can access the theatre with no steps via Flitcroft Street. Patrons requiring step free access should arrive at the main entrance on Phoenix Street and a member of staff will accompany them around to Flitcroft Street and arrange for the accessible entrance to be opened. This entrance is usually available from half an hour before the show start time as it leads directly into the auditorium. Seating for Wheelchair users There is one wheelchair space in Box C for patrons who need to remain in their wheelchair. The corridor to Box C is 90 cm wide. The door to Box C is 78 cm wide. There are two unfixed chairs in the Box. It can accommodate one wheelchair user and one seated position or two seated position. Box is restricted view (left side stage). Wheelchair Transfers: Wheelchair users can transfer from their chair into Dress Circle Row A seat 28 (fixed seat). The wheelchair will be taken care of by front of house staff during the performance and bought back to the patron once the show has ended. This seat is also suitable for patrons with limited mobility who cannot manage any steps at all. Limited mobility seating Dress Circle B27-28 and C27-28 are reserved for patrons with limited mobility. They can be reached with less steps via the accessible entrance on Flitcroft Street and require the patron to manage two or four shallow steps up to the seats, with a handrail. Totally step-free seating is in Row A, as described above
  • Enjoy one of our beautiful bars.  
  • A cloakroom is available at this venue.
Phoenix Theatre

Charing Cross Road


London
WC2H 0JP


Directions

Click here to see the 5-minute walking map.

Click here to see the 15-minute walking map.

By bus: Number 14, 19, 22b, 24, 29, 38 or 176 to Covent Garden.


Contact Information
Telephone Booking : 0844 871 7629

Calls cost 7p per minute, plus your phone company's access charge.

Groups Bookings : 020 7206 1174

Access Bookings : 0800 912 6971

Stage Door / Admin:* :

Security

ATG continues to make the safety and security of its customers and staff a priority.  As such, please bear in mind that we may undertake bag checks, so recommend you leave extra time to avoid queues, and refrain from bringing suitcases rucksacks and large bags into the Theatre. Many thanks for your cooperation.

More Events & Info Visit: Phoenix Theatre
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James Acaster - COLD LASAGNE HATE MYSELF 1999 Group Bookings

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