A friend's mother landed herself in detention during her school days. Her crime? Blasphemy, for writing 'Rod is God' on her satchel. If this anecdote gives you nostalgia pains then Tonight's the Night, the Ben Elton-penned Rod Stewart musical, is the perfect tonic.
Bernstein and Sondheim's Romeo & Juliet-inspired masterpiece is dancing into a theatre near you. Regularly opping 'Best Musical' polls, this tale of Jets and Sharks and doomed love features the classic songs Tonight, Maria and There's a Place For Us, as well as some super slick choreography.
The award-winning musical of Eva Peron's tumultuous life explores everything from her ambitious beginnings to her tragic death. This is a Classic with a capital C - and if you've ever warbled Don't Cry for Me Argentina into a hairbrush you'll know what I'm chatting about.
If any show has been designed with a UK audience in mind, this one must surely be it. With our obsessive fixation on the weather and our love of Paddington Bear brightly coloured mackintoshes, this cheery production is a miracle worker. Its exhilaratingly exuberant high kicks manage to turn drizzle into liquid sunshine. Remarkable.
After achieving sell-out success with last year's return to stand-up, he's back with a follow-up show: Little Victories. You've rinsed your Jonathan Creek box set, you've seen every episode of QI twice over on Dave - get thee to a theatre.
He's had 14 sell-out tours, you know - don't act like you're not impressed. Surreal and cerebral, a night with Ross Noble is a night like no other.
After 40 years in the business, Emmy award-winning comedy magicians Penn and Teller are off on their first ever UK tour. Featuring their classic tricks
and audience participation, no two shows will be the same: a truly unique experience.
You saw him in Sherlock, now catch him in the flesh. Reuniting with close collaborator Andy Nyman, Infamous is a more 'personal' show with a different tone to his previous tours and TV work. What does the master of psychological illusion have in store? Anything could happen.
If there's a Great British Bake Off-shaped hole in your life, keep calm! Paul Hollywood's first live show hits theatres this year, featuring recipes, anecdotes and audience participation. Soggy bottoms are optional.
Ellen Kent has a whole raft of
lavish operatic joys on offer for you this year. Touring extensively around the UK, her operas are as accessible as they are glorious. This year sees productions of La Traviata, Madama Butterfly and Rigoletto each of which promise to be as sumptuously grandiose as you
could wish for. Don't miss out on this treat for the eyes and ears.
There's nothing quite like a good giggle to get the life back in your limbs, and this superb farce - which comes straight from the West End - will likely do more than that. As long as Pure Comedy Gold is your sort of show, then this is your sort of thing.
There's really nothing quite like the excitement of seeing your favourite characters brought to life on stage in front of you, so CITV's live production of The Sooty Show is bound to delight. Izzy Wizzy let's get busy!
The stupendous show stopping success of Peppa Pig's Party and Treasure Hunt takes a turn for the wet as our favourite pig makes a Big Splash with another all-singing, all-dancing, and game-filled adventure.
Disney really did nail children's films, didn't they? Well, what better way to bring your family's favourite Disney moments to life than with this dazzling ice-skating display? With high speed stunts, and over 60 characters from 18 beloved stories, the excitement to be hand from this spectacle knows no bounds.
As the Riverdance show moves out of teen years into the heady 20s, we'd like to celebrate with them by raising a textual toast to their successes - past, present and future. From the first time they captured the public's heart at the Eurovision Song Contest in Dublin back in 1994, they've gone from strength to strength. So let's help 'em celebrate their C20th anniversary in style...
What better way to bring William Golding's classic novel to life than through the medium of dance? And when Matthew Bourne has got involved (he's adapted and directed it) we can be pretty sure that it's going to do the original proud.
Yes, the Christmas decorations have been packed up and January diets/blues/resolutions have kicked in. But you know you'll be kicking yourself come December if you haven't booked yourself up for the treat of all festive treats.
Promising the biggest stars and the best sets, along with all the classic panto trimmings, you can't go wrong with any
one of these absolute classics. Rub the magic lamp and see Aladdin in Liverpool or Woking, or go from rags to riches with Cinderella at Wimbledon, work with seven handy helpers with Snow White at Manchester and Richmond, or stay forever young with Peter Pan at Glasgow and Milton Keynes.
Go on, knock yourself out. You know you want to.